


Selfish Desire

by BluePlanetTrash



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Jealous Keith (Voltron), Keith using Lance, Langst, M/M, Shiro and Lance bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-20 00:34:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14249232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluePlanetTrash/pseuds/BluePlanetTrash
Summary: Prompt: But i dont know if this has been done or not, but an au of keith who is in love with shiro but uses lance to make him jealous without lance knowing. And it just gets out of hand. I've seen art about it like a year ago and can't find it, but in it Keith and Lance get intimate and Keith ends up saying Shiro instead of Lance, and just ANGST... P.s. I love all your work and I'm in love with your demon au





	1. Chapter 1

“I really like you,”

Keith froze in shock as he looked at Lance. He was looking down at his hands, his fingers wringing anxiously around each other. He could see his shoulders trembling slightly as if he was afraid to tell him. Well, that wasn’t too unexpected, they weren’t exactly close as they were to the others.

Especially not as close as him and Shiro. At the thought of the man, he spiralled into a silent rage.

Before Shiro had left on the Kerberos mission, he and Keith were dating. They hadn’t dated for very long before the mission but wanted to continue their relationship after he got back from the mission. Obviously it hadn’t happened the way that they wanted it to. Even when they were reunited and had enough time to talk about it on the Castle after flying through the wormhole; Shiro told Keith that he didn’t think it was a good idea to continue their relationship again. He was a different person and he didn’t want to hold Keith back from finding someone that he really loved. Understandably, Keith was pissed off, but wait. Now he had an opportunity to get back at Shiro, maybe even get him back at the same time.

He looked back at Lance who was still waiting in silence, preparing himself for Keith’s response.

“Okay, do you want to date?” He asked before Lance’s head whipped up in surprise. His eyes grew wide and he saw them become watery.

“Really?” He asked quietly, searching Keith’s face. Keith’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he nodded his head slightly. Lance’s face split into a happy smile and he lunged forward to wrap his arms around Keith’s body. The hands clutched in the back of his jacket were trembling and he laid his head against Keith’s chest with a happy sigh. Keith hesitated slightly before running his fingers through Lance’s hair.

This was going to be easy.

* * *

The very next day, the two of them announced their relationship to the team with Lance happily wrapping himself around Keith’s arm. To Keith’s annoyance, everyone gave them smiles and their congratulations, including Shiro who had the biggest smile of all of them.

He made sure that when they were in the same place as Shiro to act super lovey-dovey with Lance, that whenever he had his arm over Lance’s shoulder or they were cuddling on the couch to send Shiro a little smirk. At first, Shiro was surprised and confused by the looks but as the weeks went by, he understood what Keith was doing and he certainly wasn’t happy about it.

Keith could tell he wasn’t happy about it either. With every single millimetre that Shiro’s brow sunk in anger, he hammed up his performance with Lance; giving him pet names, grabbing his hand out of nowhere, and wrapping his arms around him from behind to rest his chin on Lance’s shoulder. All the things that Shiro used to do to him, just to make him that much more jealous.

Or what he thought was jealousy.

One day after their one on one training session, as they left and were about to head down the hall towards the quarters Shiro grabbed Keith’s shirt and dragged him closer. Keith was prepared for anything and welcomed the treatment until Shiro’s eyes bore into him with anger.

“I know what you’re doing and you need to stop it,” he growled surprising Keith.

“What?” He asked.

“This thing,” he gestured between them. “You’re trying to do to me, or us, you need to stop it before you hurt Lance, he’s your boyfriend,” he reasoned. Keith ripped himself away and crossed his arms in front of him.

“Well, he wouldn’t be if you had just remembered what we had,” Keith spat turning his back to him. He heard Shiro let out a loud sigh behind him and he looked over his shoulder at him.

“What we had was never going to work out Keith, we’re two completely different people now, you can’t keep hurting Lance like this, it isn’t going to change anything between us,” he tried. He didn’t like the way that Keith was just using Lance as if his feelings didn’t mean anything. He could see how much happier Lance was just from having his love recognized and given the attention that he always wanted from him. He could see the fondness in his eyes whenever he looked at Keith and if he knew that he was using him to get to Shiro of all people, he didn’t know what would happen.

“Why couldn’t you just give us a chance?” He finally asked, turning to face Shiro fully. He let out another tired sigh and rubbed a hand down his face.

“I told you, Keith, I want you to find someone that you can learn to love, that person isn’t me, I don’t think I’d be able to handle a relationship,” he admitted staring into Keith’s eyes.

“We could just try for a little bit,” Keith pleaded fisting his hands into Shiro’s shirt. Shiro narrowed his eyes down at Keith and pulled his hands off his chest.

“This isn’t even about just us Keith, this is about Lance too, what would you even say if we got together again? Sorry for dating you, I was just using you? How you could think that something like this would even work?” Shiro shook his head before turning and walking towards the kitchen.

Keith gritted his teeth and kicked angrily at the wall. He bunched his fists into his hair and headed back into the training deck to let off more steam before he went to go meet Lance in his room. He at least couldn’t let Lance see him like this.

Too bad he already had.

* * *

Lance stood around the corner from the training room, his heart was beating loud in his ears. He prayed he hadn’t heard what he thought he had and that maybe he had fallen asleep after training and that it was all just a bad dream. That it was a nightmare really, but as he continued pinching his skin and blood rushed to the surface in a bruise he knew that he was awake.

And he was heartbroken.

Almost in a trance, he headed back to the quarters. He had to lay down and think about everything for a while. As he got closer, his breaths started coming in rasps and his chin was violently trembling. He could barely see the scanner through his tears and he desperately tried to wipe them away.

He stumbled into his room and landed on his bed. He curled up on his side cuddling his pillow to his body as he thought over the last couple of weeks. If he was honest with himself, they were some of the happiest weeks of his life.

He felt loved.

But it was all just an act.

His eyes stung as he desperately tried to stop the tears from falling any longer. He didn’t want to shed tears over something like this. It didn’t deserve his sadness, it deserved his hatred and rage sure, but nothing else.

He turned to face the wall and closed his eyes. For the time being, he was going to try and get some rest. God knows how much sleep he was going to get when everything truly sunk in.

* * *

He woke up to feel an arm sliding around his waist to hug him from behind.

“Hey baby,” a whispered voice said from behind him. At first, he smiled with a sigh before he remembered everything that happened that day and he lashed out, knocking Keith out of his bed and onto the floor with a yell.

“Lance! What the fuck!” He yelled before looking up at the boy and freezing when he saw tears rolling down his cheeks. He jumped up and hovered around him.

“What happened? Are you okay?” he asked anxiously looking at him in concern. Lance stopped crying and looked at him with a sharp smile.

“Am I okay? AM I OKAY!?” He screamed dragging himself off the bed. Keith flinched and backed up slightly.

“No Keith, I’m not okay,” he said with a slightly hysterical smile. Keith looked at him with concerned eyes.

“Well, what happened? What can I do?”

“I heard you talking to Shiro,” he whispered staring at Keith’s eyes as they widened in understanding.

“Lance I, I mean, I don’t” he started flustered.

“I don’t want to hear anything from you, Keith,” he said quietly walking up to the door of his room. “I just want you to get out,”

“What? But we can talk about this Lance,” he tried shaking his head.

“GET OUT!” Lance screamed. With a jump, Keith did just that. He looked helplessly as the door slid shut. He looked at the door in shock, his heart dropping to the pit of his stomach. His eyes helplessly drifted down the hall to lock with Shiro’s at the end of the hallway. He lifted his hand out as if to reach out to him but Shiro only shook his head and walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn’t a surprise that Lance didn’t go to dinner that night, however, neither did Keith or Shiro. Lance stayed face down on his bed, tears silently soaking into his pillow. He only looked over when he heard a knock on his door. He knew it wasn’t Keith but he didn’t know who else would be there. Keith was obviously out, he wouldn’t crawl back so quickly without sulking for a little bit, Pidge, Hunk, Allura, and Coran knew nothing about the whole thing. Which only left one person.

“Lance?”

Shiro.

The call was muffled by the door but he could clearly hear the hesitance in his voice. As much as he wanted to ignore it, he really didn’t want to be alone at the moment, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. With a shuddering breath, he got up and opened the door for him. He didn’t let him get a word in before he turned and fell on the bed again. When he peeked out again, he saw Shiro awkwardly standing in front of the bed looking unsure of himself and fiddling with his Galra hand.

“Sit Shiro,” he said, scooting over to make room beside him. With a bit of hesitation, he did so. He waited patiently for Shiro to work out what he wanted to say and finally, he turned to him.

“I just want you to know that I had nothing to do with what Keith did,” he said quickly, a look of sympathy on his face. To Shiro’s surprise, Lance let out a sigh of relief and his shoulder slumped slightly.

“Lance?” He asked with concern, hand landing on his shoulder.

“Sorry, I just, I thought you might come in here and ask me to forgive him or something,” he admitted with a weak smile. Shiro blinked and frantically shook his head at the idea.

“What? No! No, I wouldn’t do that. What Keith did was completely wrong and I can’t believe that he did it in the first place,” he responded disappointed. Lance let out a weak laugh, slumping forward to bump his head against Shiro’s chest.

“Yeah, well, I guess it was too good to be true,” he sniffled slightly as tears came unbidden to his eyes. Shiro gasped and quickly wrapped his arms around Lance as he started sobbing.

“No, Lance no,” he pleaded. “Don’t think like that,” he gently rocked Lance in his arms, letting the teen calm himself. As soon as he was able to dry his tears without feeling too horrible, he leaned back and gave the leader a grateful smile.

“Thanks, Shiro,” he said honestly with a small smile. He got up and headed towards the door, feeling lighter than he had in the last few months. Before he left he turned to Lance a look of apprehension on his face.

“Promise me that you won’t go back to him?” He asked quietly.

“You don’t have to worry about that Shiro, I may not have the highest self-esteem in the world but I do know when I’m too good for someone,” he stated confidently. A laugh burst out of Shiro and he smiled at him fondly.

“Can you do me a favour, Shiro?” Lance asked hesitantly looking down at his mattress. He cocked his head in confusion but agreed none the less.

“Don’t tell anybody else, I don’t want this affecting Voltron,” he requested quietly. Shiro sucked in a short breath.

“Of course Lance, it’s not my decision to make anyway, you’ll tell them when you’re ready,” he agreed, he turned, opening the door before looking back at the teen. “I’ll see you in the morning,”

* * *

After that night, it was like the two of them had some sort of understanding with each other. Since he had yet to tell anybody else about what had happened, he started going to Shiro when he started feeling down about the whole thing. At first, he was hesitant to go to him, thinking that he had to be much too busy to deal with his love life but quickly realized that Shiro was still feeling guilty about the whole thing and felt it was his responsibility that Lance felt comfortable talking to him about it.

Of course, that didn’t go over too well with Lance and later that night they talked about Shiro insecurities about love instead.

“What the Galra did, doesn’t make you unworthy of love Shiro, if anything you deserve it more than anyone,” he tried to reason with him. He cuddled up to Shiro’s side, dutifully listening to his stories about being held by the Galra, how he thought about his family and about Keith and how he just missed them so badly. It was hard of course and he’d readily admit that they held each other while they cried multiple times over the course of a few late night chats but they came out much stronger than before.

It was when Shiro admitted that he felt like he was supposed to be showing more affection to the team and the individual members that Lance put his foot down.

“Don’t force yourself to love, take your time to understand your feelings, no one is forcing you into this Shiro,” he argued. He grabbed Shiro’s face in his hands, forcing him to look him in the eyes. “When you’re ready, we’ll still be here with open arms, you don’t have to anything for us,”

He sniffed, his chin trembling before breaking into grateful sobs and holding Lance tightly to his chest.

After that night, Shiro spent a lot of his time with Lance and vice versa. Whenever they would hang out with the rest of the team, they would sit beside each other, seek each other out, etc. They became almost as close as Hunk was to Lance. To the average person, it raised a few red flags, considering that they also thought that Keith and Lance were still dating.

“Lance, what are you doing with Shiro, man?” Hunk asked one day after dinner, pulling him into the kitchen. Lance cocked an eyebrow, dumping the dirty dishes into the sink.

“What do you mean?” He asked, starting up the water. Hunk gaped, hands flying wildly around his head.

“What!? I mean that you’ve been super cuddly with Shiro but you and Keith are dating!” He whisper yelled, hoping not to alert the rest of the team in the dining room where they were still talking amongst themselves. To his surprise, he didn’t try to defend himself or anything, only started scrubbing the dishes.

“Me and Keith aren’t dating anymore, we broke up a few weeks ago,” he admitted with a short sigh. Hunk in blinked in shock trying to process the new information.

“Wait, what!? And you didn’t tell me?” He asked in hurt confusion. Lance turned to look at him at the tone and quickly dried his hands off. He hugged him around the middle barely suppressing a sigh of relief when he wrapped his own arms around Lance’s back.

“I’m sorry, I wanted to keep it on the down low you know? I didn’t want it to affect the team,” he said, voice muffled by Hunk’s chest. Hunk wilted slightly at the admission, he really thought that the two of them made a great couple, considering that Keith just made Lance so happy. It had been a long while since he had been smiling every day like that and it just made him so relieved to see. Being away from Earth really took its toll on everyone but especially Lance when he had so much to lose on Earth. It really was surprised that he wasn’t as sad as he thought he would be, but it seemed like he was just as happy as he was with Keith during the last few weeks.

“So how does Shiro fit in this? He’s not some sort of rebound is he?” Hunk asked with concern. A bark of laughter escaped Lance and he pushed away from Hunk to continue the dishes.

“No no no, not Shiro, he’s like my big brother,” he said with a wide smile. Hunk nodded but once again walked forward, twiddling his thumbs.

“But does Shiro know that?” He asked hesitantly.

“Trust me, Shiro knows,” he insisted. Hunk sighed but accepted the answer, turning around the start cleaning up the rest of the kitchen.

“Hey guys, anything I can do to help?” Shiro asked walking into the kitchen with a smile. Lance waved him over with a smile and handed him a dishcloth to start drying while Hunk watched them carefully from the other side of the counter.

He didn’t know what had happened between Keith and Lance but he trusted Shiro to take care of him.

* * *

They had gotten used to seeing Shiro and Lance practically attached to the hip around the Castle. They had also gotten used to not seeing Keith anywhere around the Castle. Whenever they were in the same room altogether, he would take one look at the two of them and quietly sneak out while nobody was looking. Whenever anybody tried to talk to him about it, he would make an excuse or tell them that it was none of their business and they would back off.

It was during a party hosted by one of the planets they saved that he really reached his breaking point though. Seeing Lance rush around the civilians, talking to them about God knows what, shaking hands and talking reassuringly to everyone had him thinking about what they’d had. As the night wore on, people became more relaxed and ready for a good time. They ended up clearing the centre of the floor for people to dance.

Lance had danced with everyone but him.

It wasn’t completely unexpected but it had cut him quite a bit deeper than he thought it would. For those last few weeks, he begged in his mind for Lance to send him a single look but he never turned his way. He went looking for him multiple times to try and explain and try and get him back but no matter what he did or where he went, Shiro was always there, standing beside him like a guardian angel.

Seeing him dance across the floor sparked something inside of him, longing and desperation. He wanted so badly to march across the room and take Lance’s hand. To lead him in their own dance, but like always Shiro was there. They danced like no one else mattered, hands grasping each other’s, clumsy uncoordinated steps breaking the rhythm and hip bumping each other occasionally to mess the other one up. It was like watching siblings break into spontaneous dance in the middle of their living room. Lance laughed like a maniac when Shiro suddenly hip checked him and he was flung to the floor in a heap.

It was everything that Keith wanted and everything that he knew he didn’t deserve. He harshly bit his lip as tears sprung to his eyes, he clenched his fists and spun around heading towards the training deck.

He couldn’t be here anymore.

* * *

“Lance,” Shiro stopped dancing, looking up at the balcony and stairs, Lance followed his gaze and saw Keith marching back into the Castle.

“Think it’s time that I finally talked to him?” He asked. Shiro looked troubled down at the floor.

“I’m not going to tell you when the right time is, that’s up to you,” he finally decided. Lance let out a huff of a laugh but started towards the stairs before looking back at Shiro.

“I might need someone to talk to tonight,”

“I’ll always be here,”

* * *

It wasn’t surprising to find Keith in the training deck, it was where he usually was after all. It was surprising to find him collapsed in the middle sobbing his eyes out.

“Keith?” He called out hesitantly, walking slowly towards him. He let out a startled gasp, head whipping around to look at him, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Lance,” he breathed out, stumbling to his feet. He stumbled over to him, arms outstretched but he quickly withdrew him at the look on Lance’s face.

“Lance, please take me back,” he begged. Lance blinked in shock, looking completely taken aback at Keith’s plea.

“Keith, that’s not happening,” he said simply, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Keith sucked in a short breath at the words, looking down at the ground between them. He clenched his jaw and looked up to stare Lance in the eyes.

“Please Lance, I will do anything,” he said quietly, tears streaming down his cheeks. Lance closed his eyes, nodding absentmindedly at the words.

“It’s not that simple Keith,”

“Why? Why isn’t it that simple?”

Lance swallowed, looking away from him for a second before taking a deep breath and turning his full attention to Keith with.

“As much as I hate to admit it, I still love you, Keith,”

“Well then, what’s the problem?” He pleaded

“The problem. Keith. Is that you didn’t love me when we were dating, you only realized you loved me after you used me,” he burst out, poking Keith harshly in the chest.

“That’s not true, I did love you, Lance, I do love you!” He insisted, looking imploringly at the blue paladin. Lance let out a sharp laugh, eyes narrowing at Keith.

“You must really think that I’m an idiot Keith. That I’m a blind, naive, idiot.” He hissed, turning to pace in front of Keith. “I saw you sending Shiro those looks but I thought you were just testing if I trust you or something, I mean I guess I’m an idiot in that sense but I didn’t think that you’d be cruel enough to do something like this to me,”

“Lance I-” he tried to cut in but Lance wasn’t having any of it.

“The worst part is that you haven’t even told me that you’re sorry!” He finally yelled, hands reaching up to irritably tug at his hair. Keith’s eyes widened in shock.

No. He had apologized. Hadn’t he?

“Lance-” he tried again but he turned to him a venous glare on his face.

“Don’t. It doesn’t mean anything to me right now because you’re only thinking of what you’re feeling right now. You haven’t even begun to imagine what I’m feeling,”

As he put his fingers up to the bridge of his nose, his whole body seemed to deflate. The eyes that turned to Keith were full of sorrow.

“It’s going to take a long, long time for me to forgive you and I hope you understand that,” Keith hesitantly nodded, looking down at the ground. “Don’t forget about Shiro either, he’s just as hurt as I am,”

Keith let out a shuddering breath. He hadn’t been thinking about their feelings, just like Lance said.

“I want to forgive you, I really do… but I can’t do that right now,” Lance said softly. Without looking up, Keith nodded, squeezing his eyes closed tightly.

“I’ll see you at training,”

Seeing Lance walk out of the training room without looking back was like watching him leave his life forever. He had no idea what the future was going to bring them. Frankly, at that point, he didn’t deserve to know either. He was just going to go where the road took him and try to mend what he had broken.

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit my tumblr at blueplanettrash!


End file.
